Monday, April 5, 2010

Two boys...part two

Awhile back I posted about the fact that I was expecting another little boy, and wondering what it would be like to have two. Luke is now almost five months old.

Henry: Yes, there's been some jealousy on Henry's part, and some irritation (mainly due to the noise Luke makes when he cries or whines in the car....part of his going to sleep process). But there's also been a lot of interest, for Henry, in watching Luke, in seeing how Luke responds to him, and pride in the fact that he's often the one who can get the biggest smile or laugh out of Luke. Sometimes Henry acts a little babyish, or imitates Luke, or throws himself on me, when I'm paying too much attention (to his mind) to the little guy. But all in all, it hasn't been as bad as I thought it might. The worst part was my anticipation of it being bad, and my sense of guilt at not focusing all my attention on Henry anymore. In recent weeks, in fact, I've actually come to think maybe it wasn't that great for Henry to be so focused upon. Henry might disagree.

Luke: For Luke, it's all about the Henry show.  Just about anything Henry does elicits a smile or a laugh, and there's almost nothing Henry can do to him--no matter how rough--that Luke isn't willing to take. He's so thrilled that Henry is paying attention to him, it appears, that he's willing to put up with a having his arms and legs yanked and a finger poked in his belly.

It's been a real window into my own siblinghood and childhood with Ted...I feel like I've got the fly on the wall spot, watching what it must have been like...I'm not mystified by the adoration I had for my brother. Younger siblings, I think, don't stand a chance. We're smitten from the beginning. And I see, with a bit of a twinge, that my brother wasn't really kidding when he used to say his life was perfect for three-and-a-half years....(pre-me). But I can also see that I was part of his self-esteem, part of his sense of himself as accomplished and capable.

When I was writing my book, I was sort of guessing...thinking my way into what it meant to lose a sibling, because I no longer had a sibling from which to base my musings. I think I actually got it right. But it's different, thinking my way through it, and seeing it unfolding every day.

1 comment:

Donna said...

Hi, I came upon this site because my book club is doing Catcher in the Rye this month and I am writing an apology for not going. I googled Catcher in the Rye and death of a sibling, and your post came up.
This is my son's blog that I am maintaining I will read more of your blog as it may help me with my other two sons (22 and 20) Thanks